No Greater Love

Life on this planet can easily render us cold at heart, insensitive to outside stimuli, disconnected, disinterested and downright nasty. Many times I have heard women referred to in such terms, "nasty".

That was my attitude as a young woman.  Life had dealt me a curve ball and I didn't like it.  My mom dies when I'm only 7, my brother and I left to live with people who could care less about us, my dad wouldn't come save us, forced to marry a man I didn't love for the sake of someone else's supposed honor, abused, beaten and battered beyond description I developed a very "nasty" attitude about life.  I hated it! I wanted out! Tried to check out three times!  I did nothing to deserve the cards that had been dealt to me. And God? Where was He in all this?  How could there be a God who would allow young children to suffer through life without the love of a mother. Nope, there could not be a God and if there was, He most assuredly didn't want any part of me.

How easy would it have been to check out!  Yes, my 3 children needed me but I had been convinced by that dark voice that always spoke to me, I was absolutely no good for them anyway.  I was unloved, unpopular, ugly and just downright stupid.  I had heard it enought coming up.  I was even dubbed by my aunt as "a crazy heffer".  What was there to live for?

As far as I was concerned there was no hope for me.  The day came when I completely lost it and stepped out into oncoming traffic.  Did I get hit? No.  Then, I took an overdose of pain killers.  Did it kill me? No, the just pumped my stomach and put me away.  The final attempt I took a knife to me wrist.  Not even then would the Lord allow the enemy to take my life.  

I now know today, that at every attempt I made to end it all, God was saying, "Not So".  He wouldn'e allow me to die because He not only did He love me, He had a plan for my life.  

I always wanted to blame my life's issues and hard times on God.  I was wrong.  The one who comes to steal, kill and destroy all ways gets away with blaming God for His workings.  It was him all along, trying to destroy my life. But God's love for me was greater than Satan and on one Sunday Morning, God spoke to me and said, Nadine, I am not angry with you, I love you.  Those words resounded throughout my very being.  I knew I had heard the voice of God and it brought me to my knees in a cleansing heap of tears.  Tears that I believe served to cleanse my soul because when I was done crying, I felt as light as a feather.  Joy flooded my heart and I knew I was different.

If you are struggling with low self-esteem, the rantings of an angry boss, mate or family member putting you down and making you feel like you are nothing, it's a lie.  It's a lie from the pit of hell designed to make you miss out on a wonderful life The Father has planned for you.

I was 29 years old that day the Lord spoke to me.  I am now 65 years old.  There has been a long track record of God's mighty hand upon my life and I am happy to say He has never let me down! Never! Jesus has proven His love for me and desire to do the same for you.  He did not allow Satan to destroy me and today I am blessed with 11 precious gems that I would never had known if my Heavenly Father did not send His son to lay down His life for mine.

We as women are at war with a diabolical enemy.  He desires to not only destroy us but our offspring as well. Especially our sons.  He has been after us every since the Garden and the war rages on.  However, he will not win, if we will only believe that The Father loves us so much, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever will believe upon Him will have eternal life.  Your Heavenly Father has a plan for your life and will not allow the enemy to triumph over you.  He loves you.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, Jesus said, if you do as I command you. John 15:13-14